When people think of “creating space,” many initially think of clearing out their home by doing a home “makeover.” Needless to say, that is not what we are discussing today. Going a little deeper, you can begin to contemplate how you could release some of the activities or people in your life that are not only perhaps not serving you but robbing you of truly living life to its fullest…and trust me, we all have a few (if not more) of those that need some attention. This is a way to “create space” in your life for all the incredible possibilities out there awaiting you, a type of “housecleaning” more significant than the physical one. How is it we can allow all those possibilities into our lives when we are so “blinded” by ones that do not serve us?
But let’s notch it up to yet another level…perhaps one you have never thought about. It is the concept of creating SPACE for those around you to truly step into a healthier “beingness” as our behavior can truly lead us to being an influencer. What is “your SPACE?”
When we take an overview of our lives, we find we spend a high percentage of our time in community with other people… starting with those we are closest to like our spouse, our children, our other family members, and our friends. Then we look around at those in our career/work environment where we find the bosses, the colleagues, and those we oversee as their boss or leader, perhaps. Another part of our “circle” are those in our familiar arena who share our hobbies or activities as well as our neighbors. Then, the unfamiliar who are those in the shopping malls, grocery stores, etc. with who we interact with infrequently. If we review all of these relationships, in each of them, we may be looking for a variety of different levels of commitments and involvement. But what are those characteristics that you would want out of every relationship, no matter what role that person plays in your life?
Honesty is the response that perhaps comes up most frequently. Why is that? Being true to one’s word, which includes keeping one’s promises and making sure that you do whatever it is you say you will do, are all that it takes for people to see you as a reliable, dependable, and trustworthy person. Honesty is the foundation of trust and integrity, so they all wrap into this one core principle: being real, truthful. If you are perceived as a person without integrity, most people will probably have a hard time being in a relationship with you…or should I say honest people will because you will most likely only attract others who have no integrity. This is just too large a price to pay on many levels.
You may wonder how it is that great people build and maintain a reputation of integrity and earn the respect of the people around them? You can spot someone who is respected and trusted by the honor given and attention received from his friends and family almost immediately. People look up to him, go to him for advice, and take his word seriously. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to build this kind of reputation for yourself as well? You can! And when you do, you too will become a person of influence.
Laying the foundation of integrity allows you to choose other aspects you want to experience in your relationships: being a great listener (as that is a rare commodity in our world today), passionate, reliable, strong work ethic, fiscally responsible,
resilient, and whatever you choose to become. Getting clarity on what those most important values are to you is a critical step. Only then can you even begin to choose them distinctly in your own beingness, be cognizant of them daily, but also “create the SPACE” you want to operate in and, thus, influence others to join you in that “SPACE.”
How can WE take responsibility for building that SPACE around us? Our focus is required…we need to be intentional about all of the characteristics important to us, show up truly reflecting them, and evaluate how others are perceiving us. So, first, always be aware of those critical values you chose to reflect and what is the best behavior that will consistently reflect them. Also, be open to feedback, and understand not all of the feedback we get is true, it is just feedback. But it does help us understand how some of our adopted behaviors create some perhaps misconceptions about who we are, what we stand for. This allows us to adjust our behavior where we may be misread, so we truly are reflecting the values most important to us. Feedback remains invaluable to make that assessment. A slight tweak in our behavior can have massive results. How can I be better? How can I be more in alignment with my values? Some of us live with that intentionality every day of our lives. It takes intentional action, a state of awareness.
We also influence others to show up differently, and that is exactly what this article is about. Creating the SPACE for others to step into “it” as once you stand in the values you have chosen to reflect, there is an immediate human response of the other person to “match” your beingness. You may not recognize this concept, but it is a basic principle of how we interact. If our desire is for others to show upcoming from those characteristics that we hold so dearly, we need to BE THOSE OURSELVES. Yes, it is our own self-reflection that will influence others. How we show up gives others the same freedom, the same permission to show up in the same essence.
So, if we want this to be a more honest world, then BE more honest. If we want this world to be more generous, then BE more generous. If we want this world to be more loving, then BE more loving. If we want the world to be more positive, then BE more positive. Each one of us is creating the SPACE for others to step into. It does take intentionality and a conscious action until it just becomes who we are. Other peoples’ beingness also encircles us as we are in “their space,” so choose your “influencers” wisely as well as raise your awareness.